Slow and Steady Wins the Race!

So, the Martinez household is on week 2 of meal prepping every Sunday instead of waiting til 6:30 pm every night and not having anything planned for dinner and just going to pick up something "easy".

I have to say, the results of just clean eating are indisputable. In the last week and a half I have already dropped 9 lbs... I'm sure partially due to the large cut down of soda and increase of water. 

Plus I am realizing just how much money I can save by just cooking all the food on one day and not spending $20+ every night for the 4 of us. 

I have decided to change the way I approach the healthy lifestyle venture; usually I just go balls in and think I can cut out all the bad food and drinks and smoking AND lack of exercise overnight and that I can maintain it. Obviously that route hasn't yielded any long lasting change to my life. 

This time around I am trying to take it slow, I have cut down soda substantially to one a day, I have been cooking a lot healthier a.k.a nothing out of a box or can... all natural organic stuff. Lots of chicken, fruit, and veggies... I started back at the gym, but not every single night. 

But most importantly I have been trying not to beat myself up too badly when I slip and eat fries or miss going to the gym, I just remind myself that tomorrow I will do better. And I have been! My cravings for the wonderful delicious pizza or burgers are still there of course... But I have made the choice not to let those foods be part of my everyday. And I already feel so much better!

Can't wait to see how I feel in a few weeks  :)

Meal Prep Shortcut

I found this super helpful list of things that fit perfectly into meal prepping so that you can dive right in! Enjoy! Let me know what your favorite prep meal is... 

Change... It's a good thing. Right?

So, it's been an interesting year so far... November we moved off base finally and moved into a wonderful quiet neighborhood that has allowed me to take a step back from everything and focus on myself and my family. 

I have started going back to therapy to deal with a few issues.. one of which is me being bipolar. I have always struggled with severe depression, but never considered that I was bipolar. It is scary and I am doing my best to deal with it in a positive way... 

I am starting back to college in the next few months and I am beyond excited. I have decided to pursue my one true love and get my degree in social work. I can't wait!

I have also started to change my diet and start exercising again in hopes that it will help keep me more balanced and will help me get to where i need to be health wise... I want to feel comfortable in my clothes... i want to feel like a bombshell when my husband looks at me... I don't want to ever feel like people wonder why the hell he is with me... 

I hope to get better about writing and letting some of you know that you are not alone... We all deal with something, we don't have to do it alone though. 

My life is changing. And honestly, I am terrified. But, I am also excited about what is in my future! 

Scatter Brain Marlena

So, Texas has been fun I suppose. I genuinely miss Florida and the life I had established there. I miss my friends, my house, I miss it all.

Since we have been here in Texas (10 months now) I haven't really done too much; I think I am just going through adjusting to it all still honestly. I should be starting school again next month. For what? I don't know. I am still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up... All I know is that i want to work with people, I want to help people. Whether it be social work, nursing, or psychology... I have no clue.

My eldest daughter is starting kindergarten in August and she is just thrilled... She is looking forward to seeing all her friends again and getting out of this house. She is getting so big and growing into her self. She is intelligent and funny.. Watching her grow these last 5 years has truly been a blessing. 

My baby girl is turning three next month and I just do not know where the time has gone, she is such a big personality and doesn't take shit from anyone. She is indeed her mother's daughter. She is silly and warm spirited. She definitely keeps me on my toes!

As usual this is a scatter-brain post, but I just wanted to write a little and try to get myself back into it. Writing was fun once upon a time... 

The Epiphany That Changed It All

I'm sitting here on my couch watching tv and thinking about life...

I am 22 years old and I have been overweight for the last 5 years of my life. I obviously didn't wake up one day and decide that I wanted to gain almost 100lbs.
 But, I did know what I was doing to myself. I did know that eating out wasn't good for me. I did know that drinking 5 or 6 sodas a day wasn't going to keep me in good health. I did know that when I was sad or happy or depressed I ate my feelings.
And for the last 5 years I have been listening the little voice in my head that tells me that I am ok even though I am overweight and unhealthy. I have been telling myself that "I could be worse"  "well, thomas still loves me and finds me attractive so, I'm ok" And now... I hear me. I hear my body. And it is time for a change!


In the last week I have made the choice to change my life; I have made this choice several times in the last 5 years... this time is different. This time I am stronger and I know that failing is not an option anymore... This time it is truly not about my weight; It is about my health.
In the last week I have cut out soda and smoking and I feel good. No more cravings and no more withdrawl symptoms. I am feeling happy again!

I am going to continue blogging throughout my Journey to a healthier and happier Marlena.. Let me know how you all are doing too! :)

New Working Laptop :)

Ok... so a few months ago my laptop died :(
Blue screen of death and everything.


Yesterday i finally commited and decided to get myself a new one and let the old one go. So here i am again! Back in business haha

I will start posting immediately.. cant wait to share my life with you all again!

Changing MY Eating Habits

Trying to find ways to cook and eat while getting rid of most of the "bad" carbs I eat is definitely not my favorite thing to do.. It means no fettuccine alfredo, no more spaghetti, no more big juicy cheeseburgers, no pancakes or french toast. It really is hard for me considering that i am full on addicted to all of the above.

I have been reading and apparently i need to purge my home aka get rid of all of the things that i shouldn't be eating. If it's here i will be so much more tempted to eat it. So tomorrow i will be getting rid of all the canned stuff and all of the wonderful things like cup a noodles and any other microwaveable foods... And then i will have to go grocery shopping to stock up on lean meats, fruits and veggies, and whole grain/whole wheat bread and pastas. Tomorrow i will make a full list of what i buy! 

I found this list of substitutes i found helpful  

 Let me know if you guys have any other substitutions that you use!

A New Start... Hello Texas!

So, we are all moved in here in big ol' Texas! We are now stationed at Ft Bliss (el paso). We have been here since september 12th and got our home on base September 18th (luckily)! And now we are just trying to get settled in.
This city is just so much bigger than Eglin AFB/Ft Walton Beach.. I cant tell you how many times i have gotten myself lost already haha

One thing i have to say is, i am amazed at how quickly this has become home... I am not sure if it is just me adjusting to the whole military life or if i can thank my mom and dad for being such nomads lol
My girls love it, they are mostly excited about the stairs in our new house.

Of course the move has its downside for me... I miss all of the people that had become such a huge part of my life in Florida. The other day my Lore came to me and told me that she is afraid that all her friends from her school arent going to remember her... broke my heart. But she is resilient my Lore!

Anywho, I just wanted to give a little update since i have been MIA for a while.

If you have any questions about the military move, the wonderful 1300 hundred mile drive with 2 kids, 2 dogs, and 2 cars, or how to get settled after a cross country move i am always here for you all :)

Depression From a Stay at Home Mom

 
Some days I just dont understand how I can't just "snap out of it". I feel like I should have control of how I feel and how i spend my days. I feel like i should be able to just get out of bed and live life without wanting to get back in bed and hide under all of my blankets. I hate that i cant do it for my girls. I hate that i cant do it for myself. I hate this.

I am so so tired of pretending to be so ok. I am tired of having to remind myself to smile when im around people. I am tired of thinking "hey, its just so much easier to avoid all people."

I feel so empty and numb to everything. And its not like i can just go talk to anyone about it. They dont understand. When i do try to talk to people about it i get "just get out and do something" or "i dont understand how you can feel like this"      I DONT UNDERSTAND IT EITHER!

 "oh woe is me, i am sad, empty, and numb and now i dont want to get out of bed."  I swear thats what people hear.

I just want to live. I want to enjoy taking my kids to the park instead of dreading it. I want to enjoy cooking for my family. I want to wake up and say "today is beautiful"

One day... 

"normal" hair problems

So i have been thinking about changing my hair back to red... Problem? My husband recently complimented how "normal" my hair looks and how much he likes it... I hate "NORMAL" lol
But should i stick to what i like or what he likes??

So i need opinions!

Pretty Red hair 

Nornal Dark brown hair

Pick One!! Red or Brown??

Fruit Salsa Recipe

Ingredients:

for the fruit salsa:2 kiwis, peeled and diced
2 Golden Delicious apples – peeled, cored and diced
8 oz raspberries
1 (16 oz) carton of strawberries, diced
2 tbsp white sugar
1 tbsp brown sugar
3 tbsp fruit preserves, any flavor (I used strawberry; would only use 2 tbsp next time)

for the cinnamon chips:10 (10 inch) flour tortillas
melted butter or butter flavored cooking spray
cinnamon sugar:
1 cup white sugar
2 tbsp cinnamon

Instructions:

1. In a large bowl, thoroughly mix kiwis, apples, raspberries, strawberries, white sugar, brown sugar, and fruit preserves. Cover and chill in the refrigerator at least 15 minutes while the oven preheats to 350 degrees.

2. Coat one side of each flour tortilla with melted butter or butter flavored cooking spray. Sprinkle tortillas with desired amount of cinnamon sugar, cut into wedges, and arrange in a single layer on a large baking sheet. Spray again with cooking spray (not necessary if using melted butter).

3. Bake in the preheated oven 8 to 10 minutes. Repeat with any remaining tortilla wedges. Allow to cool approximately 15 minutes. Serve with chilled fruit mixture. This salsa can also be served with cinnamon graham crackers or cinnamon pita chips.

*Best when made and eaten the same day otherwise the fruit gives off so too much juice and it gets runny.

Health-ish Snack for you (or better your kids!)

om nom nom nom!

Pretty easy to follow pics, and you can always subsitute the flour tortilla for a whole wheat one!

Military Moves

We are getting ready for a move. El Paso, TX is the next duty station for my hubs... So we should be out there sometime in August..
The short notice of the move is making this pretty stressful!

I am still taking classes here and will be done with this semester right before we move... I hope i am able to keep my A in Anatomy and be ready for this move on time.

As soon as we get there school will be starting again for Lorena and me so i need to make sure that i have time to get us situated and enrolled.. I am thinking i may skip a semester of college so that i can settle in before taking on too much.

The scariest thing to me right now is getting to a new place and not having a home to go to... :/

I will keep you all updated on how things are going leading up to the move.

I'm Back Love bugs

So i am revamping my blog... I miss writing and i think its time to get back :)

As always please feel free to ask or let me know if there is anything you would like more info on no matter what it pertains to i will do my best to reply ;)

Being a mom...

So, i've been crazy busy lately. I am tired and feel like i am running on "E".

A lot has happened since the last time i wrote. Well, a lot in my book haha
Tomorrow i have an appointment to finally get an official diagnosis for ADHD. And see what my treatment options are. Its about time for me to finally deal with it haha

School is going great (minus the whole math thing ;) lol)

I havent been to the gym more than 4 times in the last 2 months :/  Saturday i decided it was time to get back and force myself back into a routine again. I need routine in my life.. without it i am lost all day and dont get much done.

Saturday i went to the gym alone and it was great, i pushed myself and got my 6 miles of biking done in 30 minutes. It was a little painful after not having done much for the last 2 months! But i managed pretty well if i do say so myself haha

Today on the other hand I woke up a little earlier had some coffee with my husband and got ready to take my Lorena to school and go to the gym.. my day started off great! I was on a roll.

Dropped my baby girl off at school and Olivia and I were off to the gym. We got there and i was hoping to at the very least get my 6 or 7 miles done. HA! i got ALMOST 3 miles in when Ms. Olivia decided she was done being there... Not even 20 minutes had passed and she was having the meltdown of her life. Of course people started staring and getting irritated, here was this child screaming her head off as they too were just try to get a good workout in. As a semi considerate person i hopped off of my bike grabbed her and headed out (in tears)


Why in tears?

Because i can not get any time for me. I want to do something for myself to improve my health and i just cant seem to get it done. I want just one hour where i dont have school, homework, a kid crying, whining or screaming. Just so i can workout. Is that really out of the question??


 

Hello 2013!

So, how are you all? I hope well!

Over the holidays I stopped going to the gym and started to eat poorly again. :/ i gained some weight back and got up to 216 again... boo!

Well i started going back to the gym Monday and as of today i am back down to 209. Cardio is kicking my ass!
I am finally in the right frame of mind for this. No "i cant" from me... i am pushing through my mental barriers and doing this shit right!

How is your health/working out going??

Feel Sexy Again? Hell Yes!

Hello my lovelies!

Just wanted to share some of what is going on with you all...

for the last 3 weeks or so i have been going to the gym everyday and working my butt off!
Very honestly i have been really upset because everytime i step on the scale i weigh the same or a little more than i had the days before. SO that was a really big demotivator of course.

The other day i tried on a pair of jeans that i bought in march.. they are a size 16. When i bought these jeans i swore that was the size i wore. Nope in March i was a size 22 :/ i couldnt get those things over my thighs/hips to save my life.

Well to my surprise they actually fit now! So i know i am making progress.

For the last week i have been between 215 and 212 and have not been able to drop past that 212. Today i did :) 210. I only have 10lbs left to get out of the 200's. I am beyond excited!

And i am proud of myself. I feel pretty again. I feel sexy! I feel good :)

I just want to say thank you to those of you that read and help keep me motivated and going. I appreciate you!
Let me know how your goals are coming along?

I Just Want To Eat!!

So i am sitting here browsing through Pinterest's "Food & Drink" section.. And all that is happening is.... Me fighting the urge to get up and go buy or make something i know i would regret later.

I just want a soda... and a bowl of pasta covered in cheese, with a slice of bread; smeared in butter. But no. I cant. I am already angry about my weight and i refuse to do what i usually do..

Eat.

Ya know, i have been working out, lots of running and walking.. But, for some crazy reason instead of losing weight i started gaining weight! What the hell?! Here i am trying to change my ways by doing exercise and eating better and i am gaining weight?! Makes me want to quit more than ever.


I am sitting at 213 lbs today and i am miserable with that.. and i am even more miserable because starting yesterday i was ordered to stop running for 6 weeks to let my shin splints heal. So now i have to find some other way to try and lose weight... I am just so sick of this.

Yesterday i went to the Dr to figure out exactly what was going on with my shins.. they hurt like hell when i walk or touch them even, Anyway.. I am sitting there talking to my Dr  and he says "Other than athsma and Obesity do you have any other diseases?"

OUCH!

Oh, i just wanted to roll up into a ball and cry..

Well anywho... i just wanted to write a little for today and as always.. I hope you Dont mind my scatter brain writing too much ;)





 

Black Friday

So, If some of you dont know... I work at Kohls. I hate it. But hey, its a job right?

Here is the place i get to gripe about my job to anyone that is willing to read it haha


Black Friday: I closed last night. My shift was scheduled from 4pm - 1230 am. (i clocked out at 105am) Not too bad.

Problem? I got to deal with the mess from the entire day of havoc.

First, we have a lot of new associates. And when i say new i mean this is their first week of working here. Some, had their first shift last night. What does that mean for me?
People that are not yet educated on how things work or how to do certain things.

All night all i heard was "oh, i cant put that stuff away.. i dont know where it goes." My response?

Well, you better start walking around with that stuff now so you can find it.

I hate doing other people's jobs because they are too lazy to do it themselves. Including certain managers that are employed there.

I am hopping all over the place here so bare with me....

I happened to be the most experienced person working the registers out of 5 of us that were scheduled.. so of course when something wasnt done correctly i got the tail end of it.

For a majority of the night all i heard was... so can we leave as soon as the store closes at 12?  hahahahah NO!

Stop complaining and get your ass moving!

can we leave at 1230? ............ If we finish what we need to get done yes. But at the rate everyone is moving you will be lucky to be leaving at 1am.

I was run over by one of these new people with a bakers rack i.e. a heavy ass metal cage with wheels full of clothes and other merchandise.
As soon as it happend i sat on the floor to asses my achellies and this new associate bends down grabs my foot (i hate having my feet touched) and says let me see it! I used to be a volunteer fire fighter!
All i could get out was "honey, i have been through a cna and emt course i think i can handle a little bit of skin getting peeled off of my foot. Now get out of my space."

Of course i felt bad immediately after i said it and looked at her face... But hey i had had a long night.

oh! and my manager just happened to forget to give me and two other assoviates our last 15 minute break even after i asked her.. her response?
You already got it. NO No no. I did not. Ugh.

I hate black friday. I dont understand the point. Grown ass people running around to buy things at a "sale" price.. Spending money they dont have on shit they dont need. Its ridiculous.

And I hate when things are expected of me and i am not given the tools to be successful...

Falling off the Wagon

So, since last Thursday i have fallen off the wagon.. No jogging and no eating clean. Been drinking soda and eating out. I went jogging at 6am one day last week and it was too cold for me (about 40 degrees) I got a little sick and just stopped going.


 Today is my first day back. Back to no soda and jogging at 5 pm before work. I need to learn to stop giving up when i hit a rough patch.

Due to my lack of dedication I am back up to having to lose 15 lbs instead of 11 :(

I have 42 days to lose 35ish lbs... I dont think its gonna happen but hey! i am going to shoot for it anyway!