Being a mom...

So, i've been crazy busy lately. I am tired and feel like i am running on "E".

A lot has happened since the last time i wrote. Well, a lot in my book haha
Tomorrow i have an appointment to finally get an official diagnosis for ADHD. And see what my treatment options are. Its about time for me to finally deal with it haha

School is going great (minus the whole math thing ;) lol)

I havent been to the gym more than 4 times in the last 2 months :/  Saturday i decided it was time to get back and force myself back into a routine again. I need routine in my life.. without it i am lost all day and dont get much done.

Saturday i went to the gym alone and it was great, i pushed myself and got my 6 miles of biking done in 30 minutes. It was a little painful after not having done much for the last 2 months! But i managed pretty well if i do say so myself haha

Today on the other hand I woke up a little earlier had some coffee with my husband and got ready to take my Lorena to school and go to the gym.. my day started off great! I was on a roll.

Dropped my baby girl off at school and Olivia and I were off to the gym. We got there and i was hoping to at the very least get my 6 or 7 miles done. HA! i got ALMOST 3 miles in when Ms. Olivia decided she was done being there... Not even 20 minutes had passed and she was having the meltdown of her life. Of course people started staring and getting irritated, here was this child screaming her head off as they too were just try to get a good workout in. As a semi considerate person i hopped off of my bike grabbed her and headed out (in tears)


Why in tears?

Because i can not get any time for me. I want to do something for myself to improve my health and i just cant seem to get it done. I want just one hour where i dont have school, homework, a kid crying, whining or screaming. Just so i can workout. Is that really out of the question??


 

Hello 2013!

So, how are you all? I hope well!

Over the holidays I stopped going to the gym and started to eat poorly again. :/ i gained some weight back and got up to 216 again... boo!

Well i started going back to the gym Monday and as of today i am back down to 209. Cardio is kicking my ass!
I am finally in the right frame of mind for this. No "i cant" from me... i am pushing through my mental barriers and doing this shit right!

How is your health/working out going??

Feel Sexy Again? Hell Yes!

Hello my lovelies!

Just wanted to share some of what is going on with you all...

for the last 3 weeks or so i have been going to the gym everyday and working my butt off!
Very honestly i have been really upset because everytime i step on the scale i weigh the same or a little more than i had the days before. SO that was a really big demotivator of course.

The other day i tried on a pair of jeans that i bought in march.. they are a size 16. When i bought these jeans i swore that was the size i wore. Nope in March i was a size 22 :/ i couldnt get those things over my thighs/hips to save my life.

Well to my surprise they actually fit now! So i know i am making progress.

For the last week i have been between 215 and 212 and have not been able to drop past that 212. Today i did :) 210. I only have 10lbs left to get out of the 200's. I am beyond excited!

And i am proud of myself. I feel pretty again. I feel sexy! I feel good :)

I just want to say thank you to those of you that read and help keep me motivated and going. I appreciate you!
Let me know how your goals are coming along?

I Just Want To Eat!!

So i am sitting here browsing through Pinterest's "Food & Drink" section.. And all that is happening is.... Me fighting the urge to get up and go buy or make something i know i would regret later.

I just want a soda... and a bowl of pasta covered in cheese, with a slice of bread; smeared in butter. But no. I cant. I am already angry about my weight and i refuse to do what i usually do..

Eat.

Ya know, i have been working out, lots of running and walking.. But, for some crazy reason instead of losing weight i started gaining weight! What the hell?! Here i am trying to change my ways by doing exercise and eating better and i am gaining weight?! Makes me want to quit more than ever.


I am sitting at 213 lbs today and i am miserable with that.. and i am even more miserable because starting yesterday i was ordered to stop running for 6 weeks to let my shin splints heal. So now i have to find some other way to try and lose weight... I am just so sick of this.

Yesterday i went to the Dr to figure out exactly what was going on with my shins.. they hurt like hell when i walk or touch them even, Anyway.. I am sitting there talking to my Dr  and he says "Other than athsma and Obesity do you have any other diseases?"

OUCH!

Oh, i just wanted to roll up into a ball and cry..

Well anywho... i just wanted to write a little for today and as always.. I hope you Dont mind my scatter brain writing too much ;)





 

Black Friday

So, If some of you dont know... I work at Kohls. I hate it. But hey, its a job right?

Here is the place i get to gripe about my job to anyone that is willing to read it haha


Black Friday: I closed last night. My shift was scheduled from 4pm - 1230 am. (i clocked out at 105am) Not too bad.

Problem? I got to deal with the mess from the entire day of havoc.

First, we have a lot of new associates. And when i say new i mean this is their first week of working here. Some, had their first shift last night. What does that mean for me?
People that are not yet educated on how things work or how to do certain things.

All night all i heard was "oh, i cant put that stuff away.. i dont know where it goes." My response?

Well, you better start walking around with that stuff now so you can find it.

I hate doing other people's jobs because they are too lazy to do it themselves. Including certain managers that are employed there.

I am hopping all over the place here so bare with me....

I happened to be the most experienced person working the registers out of 5 of us that were scheduled.. so of course when something wasnt done correctly i got the tail end of it.

For a majority of the night all i heard was... so can we leave as soon as the store closes at 12?  hahahahah NO!

Stop complaining and get your ass moving!

can we leave at 1230? ............ If we finish what we need to get done yes. But at the rate everyone is moving you will be lucky to be leaving at 1am.

I was run over by one of these new people with a bakers rack i.e. a heavy ass metal cage with wheels full of clothes and other merchandise.
As soon as it happend i sat on the floor to asses my achellies and this new associate bends down grabs my foot (i hate having my feet touched) and says let me see it! I used to be a volunteer fire fighter!
All i could get out was "honey, i have been through a cna and emt course i think i can handle a little bit of skin getting peeled off of my foot. Now get out of my space."

Of course i felt bad immediately after i said it and looked at her face... But hey i had had a long night.

oh! and my manager just happened to forget to give me and two other assoviates our last 15 minute break even after i asked her.. her response?
You already got it. NO No no. I did not. Ugh.

I hate black friday. I dont understand the point. Grown ass people running around to buy things at a "sale" price.. Spending money they dont have on shit they dont need. Its ridiculous.

And I hate when things are expected of me and i am not given the tools to be successful...

Falling off the Wagon

So, since last Thursday i have fallen off the wagon.. No jogging and no eating clean. Been drinking soda and eating out. I went jogging at 6am one day last week and it was too cold for me (about 40 degrees) I got a little sick and just stopped going.


 Today is my first day back. Back to no soda and jogging at 5 pm before work. I need to learn to stop giving up when i hit a rough patch.

Due to my lack of dedication I am back up to having to lose 15 lbs instead of 11 :(

I have 42 days to lose 35ish lbs... I dont think its gonna happen but hey! i am going to shoot for it anyway!

Food Addiction

So, I have recently learned that I have a problem.... My problem is with food. I love food. I am addicted to food.

I either eat way too much or i starve myself to avoid food.
I need to find a middle ground when i eat. I just dont understand how to do that.

No matter what i eat right now all i see is a number, all i see is calories that i am taking in.

I need help!!