Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Some More Honesty. Diabetes? No Way.

So, I started this blog in hopes to help people and be there for anyone that may be going through similar things.. In hopes of this i am going to keep my full disclosure.

Yesterday i went to the Dr. to find out what has been going on with me.. we came to a small list of things that may be going on. Mainly... Diabetes.

Today i have to go in to get blood work done to make sure that i am not a diabetic.

To be very honest.. I am angry and scared. Angry at myself for possibly allowing my health to get to this point. Scared because i am not sure exactly what it means for me and my health.

I am so angry with myself! How the hell did i let ME get here?! Mentally or physically! I just want to scream! I dont know how i could have done this to myself..

I have gained 75 lbs in the last 3 years. And it was because i stopped caring about me. I stopped loving me. I didnt care about what i was doing to my body or to my state of health.

I am trying my best to laugh this all off and pretend it wont affect me. But i am scared shitless.

Whether the tests come back positive or negative it is a good eye opener for me.

On average a woman that gains 10 lbs after the age of 18 has doubled her risk of having to live with type 2 diabetes.

This post is all over the place i know.. But this is the way it is coming out of my brain..

Anyway... If any of you live with it or have any info on it please feel free to share.. thanks for reading.

Monday, June 25, 2012

So sick of the ER

So I thought i was done with being sick or going to the drs. I was wrong!

Tuesday i noticed that my nose kept going numb.. just felt the same as when my foot falls asleep. Thought nothing of it.... rest of the week it kept going on and my fingers and and hands started with the same issues. Saturday my whole face went numb. I was having a really hard time talking because i couldnt feel my mouth or tongue. I got nauseated and started having chills... We went to the ER to see if they could help me out and figure out what the problem was.. while there my vision started to get a little blurry. I told them all my symptoms and they had me sit and wait in the waiting room to be seen.... 2 hours later i was still sitting there and the numbness started to go away. They finally called me in and i sat there for at the very least a half hour and still hadnt seen anyone. My symptoms were pretty much gone..... so i just went home.

Now i have an appointment in a bit to see someone about whats been going on.. wish me luck!!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Ignorance... Bliss For You. A Pain In The Ass For Me.

People drive me crazy lol this week has been a test of nerves. The worst?

   "...Also be prepared to hear everything in spanish before they even bother trying to speak in english over intercom systems. Try to avoid TMC (tucson medical center) and opt for UMC if possible as TMC is illegal alien heaven and the quality of care shows it. Remember the border to Mexico is but a hop and a skip away so you will have tons of illegals and individuals who don't or won't speak english..."

A woman on FB talking about "illegal aliens"  It just about drove me up a pole! Yes i am mexican... And i love where my family history comes from! So with that in mind, i took her comment very offensively.
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

Andthe icing on top of the cake! When called out on her words she said she found nothing offensive or rude about what she had said.

To me it wasnt just about her actual comment it was more realizing that people are like that. That people are ignorant and disgusting towards other human beings.

It upsets me that people can speak that way about other human beings and not see issue with it. I also dont understand how having people that arent from this country would or should lower the quality of care at a hospital!

It took me a while to stop being so angry about it and wanting to just start yelling or punching someone in the face lol But i thought about it and realized that her words wont hurt me. Her ignorance is a part of her not me. And if i dont want to, i dont ever have to hear from or see this person.

Yea Yea i am ranting... i know. But this is one of those things that will always work my nerves. Ignortant people. They get to me. They make me sad for the world my sweet innocent children have to grow up in. It truly makes me sad.

And not just towards "illegals" but to everyone in this country that gets the shit end of the stick in the U.S.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Long and Painful Week

This week seems never ending and its only Wednesday!

For anyone who is worried,curious, or nosy lol

I have been to the ER twice this week and had two DR appointments. First I had a really bad UTI ( tmi for some but hey! its whats going on lol) I went from no symptoms to extreme pain and blood in my urine in a record 2 hours.

I went to the ER to get medicine quickly but once i checked in i was sent to my DR.

After talking to my DR about my UTI i was sent directly to radiology to get an ultrasound of my kidneys. I was sent home with antibiotics and a medicine to help with the pain. That night i started to feel nauseated and threw up a few times.

Yesterday my ear started to hurt a little.. i stupidly sneezed and held on to my nose tightly, feeling a pop and some immediate pain. A few hours later i was in extreme pain the whole left side of my face felt like i had been slugged with a hammer. I also started having nose bleeds.

At about 4 am i a went to the ER to get my ear checked and had a Dr. come in for two seconds and determine that i had an ear infection.. i was given drops (which treat an outer ear infection) and sent home.

I called my actual Dr and left a message letting her know what was going on.

I got a call back saying that I needed to be seen soon. They opened up a space for me to be seen immediately and off i went.

My Dr was amazing and actually listened to all my symptoms and checked me out thoroughly.

Conclusion is that the medicine that i was given for my UTI was not sitting well and was causing me to throw up. I do have an ear infection but the meds given to me would do nothing seeing as i have an  inner ear infection. On top of that i have a ruptured ear drum.

The ear infection and ruptured ear drum are the reason for the extreme pain and nose bleeds.
I was told that due to the type of infection i need to keep an eye on my face and make sure that everything i moving correctly to ensure i dont suffer from issues with bells palsy.

My kidneys look ok and i have an appointment with a urologist in a few weeks.

In all i am ok.. Still in some pain, but better, especially now that i know what is wrong with me.
Thank you everyone that has inquired about me and my well being :) much appreciated!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Self Concious

Ok so as we all know, I am trying to lose weight.. Problems with this?

I am too freakin' self concious. I dont want to go running because I dont want anyone to see me. Same with going to dance classes or actually attending a workout group with a few other ladies.

I used to love to be in the spotlight! I wanted people to watch me dance.. I wanted people to watch me and feel something when i danced. Now, i feel the complete opposite.

I want to dance in a dark corner by myself.

As i say all this i realize that i probably judge myself a whole lot more than anyone else would...

One of these days maybe I will just get over it.. I mean its not to anyone else's detriment but mine to not do things because i am afraid of what people will say.

-A Work In Progress.


And on that note!

I turn 21 this month!! yay lol i am so excited :)

Now if there is anyone out here in FL. that knows what fun stuff I can do for my bday please help me out with some ideas :)

I so wish I was back home for this lol there is so much more to do.. And of course...... my family is not here to celebrate with me :(

Its ok, whenever i get to go home we will pretend its my bday all over again and celebrate hahaha