Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Some More Honesty. Diabetes? No Way.

So, I started this blog in hopes to help people and be there for anyone that may be going through similar things.. In hopes of this i am going to keep my full disclosure.

Yesterday i went to the Dr. to find out what has been going on with me.. we came to a small list of things that may be going on. Mainly... Diabetes.

Today i have to go in to get blood work done to make sure that i am not a diabetic.

To be very honest.. I am angry and scared. Angry at myself for possibly allowing my health to get to this point. Scared because i am not sure exactly what it means for me and my health.

I am so angry with myself! How the hell did i let ME get here?! Mentally or physically! I just want to scream! I dont know how i could have done this to myself..

I have gained 75 lbs in the last 3 years. And it was because i stopped caring about me. I stopped loving me. I didnt care about what i was doing to my body or to my state of health.

I am trying my best to laugh this all off and pretend it wont affect me. But i am scared shitless.

Whether the tests come back positive or negative it is a good eye opener for me.

On average a woman that gains 10 lbs after the age of 18 has doubled her risk of having to live with type 2 diabetes.

This post is all over the place i know.. But this is the way it is coming out of my brain..

Anyway... If any of you live with it or have any info on it please feel free to share.. thanks for reading.


  1. Oh no! Sorry to hear this.. I hope your test results come back well. Type I Diabetes Mellitus is Diabetes that you are BORN with and is Insulin dependent. If you have Diabetes, you most likely have Type II which is developed later in life due to weight gain and poor eating. The great thing about it is that weight loss and good eating can control it!!! :D Prayers for ya girl!